Mundane Daily Musings

2010-04-16T03:03:00.002+08:00

Hi Internets,

I'm changing my blog platforms and still be in blogspot. But I've changed my name.

Currently, my fashion blog is unable to be accessed by public anymore.

These will be blogged under a different names.

PS : You can still find these names in other places. Go figure.

Daily or Periodic

2010-04-07T00:50:00.004+08:00

Would like to say sorry to my internets for not updating my daily musings and have not been in the right frame of mind. Not too motivated to do anything.

Had blogged about this before and had discovered that these people had specific invited guests in their minds. They had rented a place to practise. I could only say that those people are in the exclusive group and dont think I should beat myself up for this.

No, I will not cut my nose to spite my face. Will find a place to do. If not, will practise at home or in socials.

PS : One of the dudes' attitude had changed and it seemed like he could not be bothered to dance with me or some others.

PPS : These people had exhibited really childish behaviors.

Meetups

2010-04-03T10:46:00.001+08:00

Woke up late on a long Good Friday weekend and obviously late for my last appointment. I really need to change my sleeping habits. Seriously having insomnia and yet not earning any 'kachang' from this (no pun intended).

Didnt have breakfast nor lunch means that I'm not living on a healthy diet. The only meal that I had was a gf's place. The usual topics of how are you, what are you doing now would be discussed at the dinner table.

When I mentioned that I'm doing salsa and zouk, her reaction was "Arent you too old for that". It shot straight to my heart and made me wonder what was I really doing during my 20s. BTW, I shot back by saying that I'm still flexible. Yes, my hands still can touch the ground and I can kiss my toes...yuuuuccccks!

Right now, I feel even more alive and active. Perhaps, it's age catching up but I'm enjoying this portion of my life though career-wise isnt looking very hopeful.

For the past few months, I have been dancing both salsa and zouk. For Zouk, it's relatively new in SG but not in Europe, Americas, etc.

Honestly, I enjoy zouk better than salsa though it's relatively more challenging and intimate in terms of the body movements. My stomach muscles have strengthened and say bye bye to love handles. I can see more results and body transformation. Yes, I'm happy when practising zouk.

However, there are quite a number of people who are not receptive to this new dance form. Even one of the dance areas that sg salseros would affectionately call 'The Union' (located at Amara) does not offer many zouk songs. In fact, this dance 'hall' has changed its image and keeping up with the times. It seemed to look similar to Modiva at St James.

Here is the video link (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VlV8c2TXB5M) and this will show more what I've been doing for the past few months. I'm not at expert level yet but working towards my goal as long I'm still flexible.

PS : I can do beautiful back bending.

lifesrichpageant.typepad.com is not in any association to Mundane Daily Musings

2010-03-30T03:58:00.009+08:00

I'm unsure why but there is a very irritating popup from 'lifesrichpageant.typepad.com' and this is no associated to my twitter or my blog. Not even in the remote form.

I really hate this!

I dont even know who is this person and how the pop-up is linked to my blog.

Can any kind soul out there is willing to help me in this IT problem is very much appreciated?

BTW, if you are the aussie author of lifesrichpageant.typepad.com (or he claims to be) and the author is somebody named Neil R Smith --> do remove this from my blog!

I hate this irritating pop-up!

Readers, you have the right to know this!

Thanks

Mundane Daily Musings

PS : I'm not keen to associate with this person.
Who are you who rattle about the musings and snippets of life of a peripatetic aussie now in new york city?

PPS : If you wanna to access this website, there is no access.

I'm the next escape artist

2010-03-29T23:57:00.003+08:00

Honestly, I'm still not motivated for the past 1 week. It seems like I'm letting time slip by.

I do know that I really need to do something about my life and should not let this slip by just like that.

I'm not even keen to blog or source for anything except for dance.

Not in the right frame of mind and simply wanna to escape from reality!

Determination

2010-03-26T02:43:00.002+08:00

Another instalment of the dance class....

My seniors are rather sticky about their songs and their sources. Hence, I have received the usual no answer which is very much a dead end.

Well, my instructors are rather kind and had three tracks to practise. But these songs are insufficient to practise.

Classmates are rather not exactly willing to share except for a few. Then again, these are simply pure chats. Nothing concrete except for one person.

I decided to do research in search of the songs that are practised in class. Honestly, there are not many leads.

The process took one long night and an early afternoon. Thought it was quite fast and managed to find what I needed. Of course, there are many sites that were deemed unusable. Well, the rest is history.

Frankly, I think I have enough songs to dance to. Of course, I'm proud and amazed of my small achievement but it sets the tone of future tasks. What I have set mind to do and this is coupled with both determination and perseverance, I will be able to accomplish anything. Anything is possible.

PS : Well, this is my labour.

Dance Class

2010-03-24T12:25:00.003+08:00

This is another instalment of what's happening in my dance class.

I always feel like I'm an outsider peeping through the hole to view the insiders.

IMHO, there was somebody in class who was viewing me as some kind of competition. It seems that way. Had a chat with one of those in her camp. Apparently, she feels the same way. (Cant describe too much down here.)

Honestly, I think it's like weird cos she was the one that blew cold air and remove me from her facebook. How funny!

I should thank that person coz without these actions, I would not have discovered the 'gems' in my class.

At the same time, I wonder am I sensitive coz I think that my instructors are giving me cold / hot treatment as well. I knew one remark that they had made in class was directed to me.

Begin to wonder is it my size and they thot that I was heavy and that's an obvious reason. The others I really dont know and of no wish to know.

PS : I will / must concentrate in my class coz I could see the changes in my body and understand more to perform the movements! Hooray!

di·a·logue

2010-03-24T12:09:00.003+08:00

di·a·logue - conversation between two or more persons.

That's the definition from the dictionary that is lying on my table top.

However, I didnt feel that way when my direct and the rest had a meeting with me. They seemed very determined to 'release' me and I didnt bother to provide any feedback. Perhaps, they thought that it would be good to have a dialogue but it was part of procedure. Btw, the reasons that were discussed were not 100% true.

One of the precious lessons that I have learnt was choose my battles well. Some of these causes are worth fighting for while others are not. This was one of them that didnt worth my effort.

I was happy with the outcome and went on leave.

When I came back, my direct thought it would be a good idea to have a dialogue so that she could get it off her chest. However, I told her that she did knew that some of the items discussed were false. Then, the deafening silence engulfed the room.

I told her that I had to move forward. Period.

P/S : The funniest thing happened on the last day was I guessed she was uncomfortable having lunch with me and she decided to call the whole entourage to join. However, these people didnt belong to my team such as HR exec and GM's sec. Funny, was it?

All these while when we were having lunch, I could see from the corner of my eyes that the HR exec was observing my actions.

P/P/S : My direct whispered that could I stay. How ironic is that!

Work

2010-03-14T13:00:00.002+08:00

At workfront, my boss had a dialogue telling me how miserable she was. But it was too late. I really need to move forward.

My 'best' present came early ~ 08 March 2010

2010-03-10T00:24:00.004+08:00

Hi there, I'm pretty sure for those who have read my previous post I did mentioned about my job. Seriously, it has got downward spiralling no matter what I have done.

In the end, I got the best present that I had on the eve of my birthday. No wonder everybody had turned 'friendly' for the past week and wanted to have lunch with me. I had prepared myself mentally that everyday will be my last since I had received a call last week.

Had a meeting with them and would not elaborate on the details here (only the inner circle would know). Not much of a dialogue and it was a very much one-sided affair though they mentioned certain issues that were totally untrue. Well, I could say that they were pretty determined to do so and would leave it as that.

I remembered a saying from my ex-boss "pick the fights that are worthy of your cause" and this has become my mantra especially when it comes to certain issues at work. Coz the employees would be in the losing end at the end of the day. The so called dialogue is just a formality so that no hard feeling would develop based on their point of view.

Was on leave since Monday and Tuesday coz it was my special day. Guess what happened during 15 mins before 6 on a Tuesday evening. Somebody called me up to ask something that's very trivial and it could be resolved when I reached office on Wednesday. What a dampening mood! However, I was professional enough to return that call and not avoiding it.

Cant elaborate much about my feelings as nothing is safe anymore. Thanks to technology!

Now, I do know what are my likes and dislikes.

PS : These couple of weeks, things may turned out tough. However, I know that I can pull through this and transform myself. For those whose ears wax that have been melted by me, thanks for your emotional support!

PPS : I could only say that it felt like being back in high school all over again!

Sunday 7 March 2010 is a weird day

2010-03-08T23:08:00.006+08:00

As the title says it, it was one of the weirdest day that I ever had.

Had finished my zouk dancing lesson. Felt all hot and sweaty and the weather didnt help a single bit. Wanted to dress up for an outing with SL after lessons. Later, realised that I had taken the wrong underwear. Hence, I needed to purchase new underwear.

Decided to go to Wacoal in the Central to try my luck. Lady Luck was smiling at me and managed to get 3 underwears though there were nude in color.

While I was trying out my lingerie, I saw a male toddler peek through. When I flipped the curtain, the mother of the toddler pretended nothing ever happened. My goodness not even a word of apologies. BTW, this mother is an Indian from India and she didnt seem local.

I was angry and the sales personnel was my witness. I raised my voice and created a din. Yet, she was pretending that she didnt understand a single word I said.

Decided to leave the shop. However, I refused to let this go and went back to the shop to confront her again.

However, she was reluctant to apologise and kept insisting that her toddler was young as well as naughty. Later, she apologised profusely but kept mentioning that her toddler was young. Well, the apology came too late.

If you were been peeped, would like let this go? I really doubt you will do so and probably lodge a complaint.

I found the world had turned many people into a selfish and self centred breed. As long as it does not affect them directly, it does not matter. I guess the word 'sorry' is a difficult word for people to say it out.

PS : This Indian lady was an educated individual. Yet she didnt seem to bother that her toddler had created a nuisance in the store. So what if you are educated when your attitude is all time low. If I had not confronted her, there would be no apologies.

PPS : Went to the ladies to ease. Later, a man entered the cubicle next to me. Thank goodness I was clothed when the old uncle entered. Cant imagine if I'm not. What a lunatic!

What a crazy day!

Work

2010-02-27T14:14:00.003+08:00

The situation at workfront is still the same.

The interesting part everybody has a 6-degree of separation between them instead of me.

Well, have been making lotsa mistakes and trying not to aggravate the situation any further. Even the new staff are connected somehow.

Sometimes, I wonder what am I doing there.

Biting the Bullet

2010-02-16T22:23:00.002+08:00

Today marks the second month of my work in this company. Got this job last year after a long drought in my career.

However, all is not rosy in workfront. Pay wise is not in healthy level and the stress is not from work but colleagues. Right now, I have to be patient as I'm still new to the culture but I'm trying.

Today also marks the end of my holidays. It's back to reality. Thus, there's a need to bite the bullet.

Still, I need to prove to myself I need to overcome all these. After all, what doesnt kill me will only make me stronger.

Drought

2010-02-05T00:25:00.000+08:00

Hi there,

I'm really sorry for not being able to blog so frequently as I've been sick for the longest time.

Caught the cough virus and been trying to recover. Work front is not all rosy and have been doing lotsa shopping therapy to de-stress. Not to mention that my current office is very near to the newest baby in Orchard Road strip. Yes, I'm mentally weak to resist temptations especially shops that shows the 4-letter starts with S.A.L.E.

Will update up once I get better...

With lotsa love
Mundane Daily Musings

PS : Thanks for sticking through during this drought period

Frustrated

2010-01-20T11:53:00.003+08:00

Work has not been very smooth. Trying very hard to get adjusted to the new environment. However have some difficulties...still trying. However, there are times when I really want to give it up and throw in the towel. It's during those times I find strength in my religion, faith as well as frens.

Will update soon but unsure what's the outcome of all these.

Life

2010-01-17T12:25:00.002+08:00

In some instances, there are no rewinds in life. If you make a wrong move, you will sink faster than you think. Even if you try to climb your way out, you will still need to struggle to beat all odds.

Just a thought in mind after having a chat wif SL.

Withdrawal

2010-01-09T11:15:00.004+08:00

Honestly, I'm at a loss and duno where to begin with. Got myself something but unsure whether it's a right move. Really wondered whether it's suitable. Well, I've to try it first.

"Auld Lang Syne"

2009-12-31T20:56:00.003+08:00

To all my readers, enjoy this last day of 2009! 2009 is indeed memorable and it's a roller coaster ride for me. Let's enjoy this moment with smiles and cheers to usher 2010 in a couple of hours. Thank you for visiting this blog. Happy New Year!

Should old acquaintance be forgot,and never brought to mind ?
Should old acquaintance be forgot,and old lang syne ?

CHORUS:
For auld lang syne,
my dear,
for auld lang syne,
we'll take a cup of kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

And surely you’ll buy your pint cup !
and surely I’ll buy mine !
And we'll take a cup o’ kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

CHORUS

We two have run about the slopes,
and picked the daisies fine ;
But we’ve wandered many a weary foot,
since auld lang syne.

CHORUS

We two have paddled in the stream,
from morning sun till dine ;
But seas between us broad have
auld lang syne.

CHORUS

And there’s a hand my trusty friend !
And give us a hand o’ thine !
And we’ll take a right good-will draught,
for auld lang syne.

CHORUS

Oh gosh! It's the New Year already!

2009-12-27T08:36:00.003+08:00

Sorry for the slowdown in my updates!

This year, the common word that I've in my entries is roller coaster.

Here's the breakdown :-

- Got a contract job. Yet to see what it in store for me.

- Is taking a break from Salsa and this will be resumed in 2010.

There are many things that happened during my absence of entries. went drinking with some of my salsa mates on one of the weekends but ended up feeling like being a chaperon and didnt enjoy those 'tag-along' sessions.

Christmas eve was fun as was invited by one of my other salsa mates to club at St James. Honestly, it's was my virgin trip to this place. Had fun with the rest my salsa mates as well as his frens.

Christmas was spent in the same salsa mate's house.

In short, I had fun and didnt have much time to blog. Will do both more often.

PS : Just realised it's 5 days away from New Year and it's scary. Enjoy the holidays and take care!

Scorpion and Frog story

2009-12-23T02:31:00.000+08:00

In the story, a scorpion and a frog meet on the bank of a stream and the scorpion asks the frog to carry him across on its back. The frog asks, "How do I know you won't sting me?" The scorpion says, "Because if I do, I will die too." The frog is satisfied, and they set out, but in midstream, the scorpion stings the frog. The frog feels the onset of paralysis and starts to sink, knowing they both will drown, but has just enough time to gasp "Why?" Replies the scorpion: "Its my nature..."

Some disgusting commuters

2009-12-14T19:23:00.007+08:00

Do you have any unpleasant encounters of fellow commuters? I do have such encounters and it can be quite disgusting.

I know that male body is built differently as compared to female but this is not the excuse.

It seems like they have to open up their legs to parade their wares though the space is rather limited especially on bus and mrt. What I would normally do is to use my bag as a form of separator between me the male commuter or constantly move my body.

There are some who have no intention to 'share' their seats despite of the bus was crowded.

Here are the examples to illustrate the encounters. The first two pictures will show the usage of bags towards these male commuters. The last picture was a Chinese national's shopping bag was occupying the seat instead of the floor.

Pictures are by Mundane Daily Musings

While I was travelling to Bugis, this elderly man who was fatter than me and was seated by the window. His legs and bum had overflowed to my seat.

Here is another picture while I was on my way to town and there was another male commuter who was talking to his friends.

The last picture was a Chinese national's shopping bag occupied part of the seat. Hence, the other person was deprived of space though the bus was rather crowded. Had decided to shift to an empty seat once I found one.

It's over soon.... I hope

2009-12-04T12:45:00.005+08:00

It's already December and Christmas is coming soon. Have yet to get anything solid for the whole of this year. This year has been a roller coaster ride for me.

Of course, there are people who have supported me and feel that I've been a letdown to those who care.

I've tried to secure something but it was tough this year. Sometimes, I wish I could sweep this under the rug. I cant and tears would accompany my sleep.

My savings are wiped off already and wondering how to survive.

I really dont know what to do anymore except to pray.

PS : Had injured my left ankle and right shoulder after a fall yet couldnt tell anybody to make them worried.

Major loves

2009-11-30T00:53:00.000+08:00

One of my fav things is long weekends. It's always great to have long weekends as I dont have to wake the normal hours to go to work. It started on Thursday and was only in office for the second half of the day.

Went off for a nice dinner which didnt turn out well and found a stapler 'bullet' in my cookies and cream dessert. Will blog about this in next entry
Caught 'New Moon' and was not exactly that interesting as compared to Twilight.
After the show, we went for drinks but left early. So much about the beginning of my long weekend.

Looking forward to my salsa lessons on Friday and realised that the first part of my beginner lessons were finishing soon. Was sad coz some of classmates were unable to continue with the rest of us coz the work.

After the lesson, SL and I decided to try our moves in Cuba Libre and met a nice and warm couple from London who taught us more interesting and advanced steps. Totally enjoying every minute of my dancing lessons as well as my pursue in this hobby.

Since the start of my salsa lessons, I had been on a quest to search for a pair of salsa shoes. Almost every weekend, SL and I would go to different shoe sellers to search for 'the' pair. Finally, we found a reasonable priced pair for ourselves. Mine was a little expensive as compared to OG Department but SL got a better deal. Dont have an intention to get a more expensive pair at this moment. His was black and mine was bright orange. It was chosen by the proprietor of the shop and it was heels instead of flats.

Come Sunday, it was my gf's (SRT) kid's first birthday. It would say it was a wonderful party with lots of networking. Very interesting mix of people.

It was one of the most relaxed yet expensive weekend that I ever had.

Temp Job

2009-11-21T14:35:00.007+08:00

Had an nasty encounter with my in-charge. Seriously doubted he understood what we did and still insisted on doing it his own. We are the freelancers and yet no CPF is being paid. Believed that they have been doing this for awhile.

Sidetrack :-
After the project was aired, there were many unwanted attention. People started to show their concern. Dont feel happy at all. wondering why people believe in what you see in media and doubt that these people really know the 'real' me. Frustrated! Dont they know not to believe what they see. Ridiculous!

November weekends

2009-11-15T22:25:00.005+08:00

November weekends are not good for me....

Here are the reasons :-

The first weekend was SL had his lasik and we spent it at home except for Sunday. Decided to get out and breathe some fresh air.

The third weekend was SL had some freaky accident at home while he was in toilet. He ended with 5 stitches between his fingers that cushioned his fall.

What a way to spend my weekends of November.

PS : My entries are getting shorter coz I'm trying my best to feel the mood of blogging. There is a long drought in my inspirations.

This is my 1st....

2009-11-15T22:13:00.004+08:00

Was looking forward to attend my very first salsa lesson. It was raining heavily throughout Friday. No complaints at least it was better than facing the sun. What a way to spend a rainy and cold Friday evening.

The group chemistry had yet to warm up. Watch out for this space.

Busybody or pure helpful

2009-11-13T01:24:00.003+08:00

Was paying my credit card bill at AXS machine located at a 7-11 and the other machine was empty. The only reason why the other machine was empty coz it accepted DBS ATM card only. My ATM card was a OCBC and needed to queue. The lady whose husband was in front of me tried to be helpful by telling me to use the other machine.

My reply was "I cant". Was thinking I shouldnt have even answered her.

Wondered this lady was plain silly or stupid. If I had a DBS card, do you think I'll still need to queue? Yes, she was helpful but there was a need to make observations before opening up her mouth.

In general, people do jump into conclusions before making any observations. Often, it tends to be annoying and getting into people's nerves. Of course, this is one of those incidents.

APEC 8 - 15 Nov

2009-11-08T21:04:00.005+08:00

The APEC meeting has kicked off today. The Christmas decorations were already out in end October this year. This year's decorations are grander than last year's coz my country is out to impress the dignitaries. Well nobody's complaining. To me, it's a waste of both taxpayers' money and electricity.

Here are the pictures of what I've taken while taking a long walk from Orchard to Plaza Singapura at Dhoby Ghaut.

Thanks to APEC!

Pictures by Mode Attitude Culture

October / November Rain

2009-11-08T16:45:00.003+08:00

Raining during this period makes me a happy person.

Born into a country close to equator, we have always been experiencing humid weather. Having rain is common but it's definitely a fresh breath of air especially it came late October instead of mid month.

All thanks to global warming! The weather is getting more erratic and I really hate the dry spells that were happening. It's scary coz the sun is especially glaring and it gets too hot for comfort.

I love the cool weather so that I can wear my knitted stuff without looking like an idiot coz most of my stuff consists of knitted material. It reminds of Christmas is coming especially this period.

Looking forward to more rainy weather.

Not motivated

2009-11-08T03:45:00.002+08:00

Heya

My sincere apologies for not updating my stuff regularly. Thanks for support! Will update soon.

Cheers

Mundane Daily Musings

Called me a fool but I'm a pacifist

2009-10-29T01:03:00.004+08:00

Recently, I'm watching a documentary on US soldiers who were operated in a makeshift hospital / operating theatre in war zones. In fact, the perimeters outside the hospital are constantly bombard by bombs.

Honestly, nobody could who feel the pain than those who have their loved ones located / died there. I really duno how long is 'war' gonna end. It's quite sad knowing the fact that some of these people are unwilling to go to the warfront coz they have many commitments back home and they cant wait to get back their normal lives.

Nobody wants to hear bad news of their loved ones being injured or not making it back. I do believe these people who are stationed there are well aware that they maynt make it back somehow.

I see the pains in the eyes of their parents, siblings, etc. Even those who survived the world, they do have to cope post war traumas in their everyday lives due to the situations that they face. Some of these are injured soldiers whose lives are destroyed. Thanks to the bombs surrounding them everyday. These soldiers rarely want to go back to war. These are just ordinary folks and even the Congress members are not keen to send their sons to the war front.

I really ponder whether these people to go to war are going for the right reasons coz they are staring death in their faces. At the end of the day, it's the men that are suffering and not the leaders. Dont these people think about these soldiers are also somebody's child, sibling, parent, friend, etc?

Are wars necessary? Dont people ever learn their history lessons? In the end, nobody gains. Dont these people get it?

Dont take things for granted

2009-10-27T02:35:00.008+08:00

Recently, I've quite a bit of time to explore around SG.

IMO, here are some of my findings :-

SG is aging population but it's aging faster than the media has reported and it's scary.

The behaviour of the general is getting more oblivious than ever.

The sense of individualism is getting stronger.

The list goes on.

Have been travelling via the public transport for quite a fair bit recently and noticed that SG's aging population is accelerating at great speed. There's quite a number of senior citizens around and we will have more dependents than previous generations due to the low birth rates. Honestly, many of them are not attracted by the baby bonuses as the living expenses are sky high in SG. In terms of standard of living, we are ranked number 2 after Tokyo for being an expensive place to live in. Coupled with the lack of salary adjustment to cope with the increasing cost, SG has proved to be an expensive place to be in even for her citizens. I feel the gap of rich and poor even more during the recession.

The second and third points are kinda related. With the advancement of SG's affluent, SG citizens are lacking of developing proper manners. There are so many examples to cite. Some people have no sense of courtesy especially when they ask me to share my table after I've settled down and taken my bite of the food. What better timing to irritate me and they expect me to give them a pleasant smile after they sat beside me. Hey, choose a better timing instead.

Another peeve that I dislike is sitting beside a male commuter because they open their legs and it's very annoying as well as disgusting. I understand males are built differently from women but this doesnt give them the right to open up their legs as if they are parading their wares.

The other thing is commuters seem to find you comfortable especially when they are falling asleep and keep slipping to your side. I mean if you are tired, then sleep early if you could coz I'm not your bed. If I encounter such people, I will elbow them. But I wasnt like before coz I'm simply frustrated.

There are seats that are labelled as reserved yet there are many able bodies will still grab that seat. I'll try to avoid this seat as much as possible. In Taiwan, I see the kindness in her citizens and many able bodies give up their seats for those who need it. Besides Taiwan, I do see people queue up to get into the trains. Dont understand why many people dont queue in an orderly fashion to get into the train.

The other thing that I find it annoying is people who speak loudly or blast the music in their earphones. First, I'm not keen to listen to whatever nonsense that you are trying to express. For those whose music are leaking from their earphones, dont take for granted that your ears will be fine coz these will turn deaf in long run. No, I'm not cursing you coz these people take their ears for granted and havent experience deafness.

I'm unsure why I'm writing this coz am experiencing personal frustrations about such things. Ok, too many rants already...

Billboard country

2009-10-26T16:06:00.005+08:00

I dont know how you feel about SG becoming a billboard country or rather so-called cosmopolitan. I'm scared that we are the ones who will ultimately finish all the natural resources. Not our parents generation but our generations and more to come.

I see the commonalities in both Tokyo, Japan and Times Square, USA. These cities are vibrant, active (24/7) and use lotsa electricity to make the billboards come alive. It's scary to see SG going into this direction when you go down to Orchard Road and see more lighting displays, huge TV screens, billboards, etc.

I'm not entirely a very environmental conscious person but I'm trying in my small ways by recycling my papers both sides and cutting down my use for plastics.

The weather in October is very unbearable and there's humidity and heat to be dealt with everyday. This is too much to bear coz it's usually rainy during this period. I really wish rain could come soon.

I do hold fear that my children and many future generations to come willnt be able to witness certain things that I'm seeing now if we dont act now.

21 - 25 Oct : ASH Cosmetics

2009-10-26T09:07:00.003+08:00

Do you like to try the latest makeup that redefine killer looks? Would you wanna go it a try?

Apparently, this is a marketing gimmick to create awareness of the effects of smoking on women. Even the makeup is made of cigarette materials such as tar and ash.

Thought I was very interesting and creative to raise awareness as shock tactics may not work anymore. Marketers have to think 'out of the box' now especially for matters close to heart and decided to use makeup to reflect the effects of smoking.

Looking forward to more interesting marketing campaigns.

Flash Mobs

2009-10-25T12:59:00.005+08:00

Flash mobs have sparked in so many parts of the world from UK, USA, etc. Sometimes, it could be some form of publicity for a particular company. There was a recent one happened during the hectic lunch hours at Raffles City for HTC. However, the crowd was standing too faraway. Thought it shouldnt be the case and they should be as near as possible.

Above are some of the organised mobs that I find are good.

Another suggestions would be such as sing along and frozen at Raffles Place especially during the hectic lunch hours. Would like to see more organised with precision type of flash mobs and not just the dancing ones.

Personally, feel like doing one of these. Cant reveal too much at this moment. If you are keen and not shy, please let me know. I need approx 200 people to make this happen (if possible or at least 150)

23.10.09 ~ Freaky

2009-10-24T01:53:00.003+08:00

Today, I was meeting SL for lunch and another gf after that. After our meeting, I was alone and wanna hang around BHG for awhile.

There was a little Indian boy busy playing with the escalator by climbing the sides without realising that there was a blind spot and he had stuck his head out (while he was climbing). His little head was caught between the gap and the escalator was moving. Panic was in the air. He was crying and the fear of injury was there. Luckily, there was a gentleman who rescued the boy's head by pulling another direction despite the escalator was moving.

It was a scary moment as I felt helpless but to call for help. Thank goodness. The gentleman rescued the little boy at the nick of time. Cant imagine what happened coz everything happened in split of a second. Bet the little boy had developed phobia after this incident.

It's a freak incident when I think of it.

PS : Wanted to tell the kid to stop playing but feared that the parent would say mind your own business. BTW, the parent was around but didnt stop her boy from playing. I do think that it's also the fault of the parent who allowed her kid to play while riding the escalator.

21.10.09 ~ close shave

2009-10-22T01:59:00.004+08:00

All these were written in the reverse chronological order.

Have you have a close shave to meet the God of Death? I did today. Not through illness but a reckless truck driver who made an U-turn at Queensway / Commonwealth ThruPass without noticing the traffic had turned into green man. If I could recall correct, the number plate is JY 55xxY who made that U-turn at 1457 hrs. I was a few inches away from that truck and the truck driver was scolding me without realising that the traffic had turned into green for crossing.
Before I was walking towards the junction, I thought I saw a flasher. But I couldnt be bother and continued to walk on.

Had created havoc at SL's office and everybody's asking him what had happened. Of coz, his life was viewed as a scandal now and I was the person who created the mess.

Imagine if the driver hadnt stopped his brakes on time, I wouldnt be here writing my blog.

Yes, I'm blessed judging from that close shave which was approx a few inches away from my body.

Weekend

2009-10-18T18:00:00.007+08:00

Friday : 16.10.09
The first outing of the beginning of my weekend without SL was a prata eating session with my fren,B at an unearthly hour of 3.40am. After 'breakfast' or rather more of supper, we headed the supermarket for replenish our junk food. By the time, I reached home to catch my wink, it was 5am and needed to wake up for lunch with my gf, M.

Well, I was late (not surprising)but we had a great lunch near her workplace to catch up. Before our meet-up, my brains went autopilot when it came to magazines. Had bought a couple before and after meeting her. Total damage was approximately SGD 20 plus. Couldnt resist coz of the goodies given for the purchases such as Loreal and Biotherm products, parfum, etc.

After magazine haul, I went to my next destination at Holland Village. A cardigan caught my eye in a parallel import shop but there was a hole at the shoulder area. Had requested for a discount for a faulty item and yet was being refused coz the item was priced cheaply. The SAs claimed that there would be people buying even there's a hole at that area. Well, I was not part of the statistics then. Resisted and went on to meet my ex-neighbour who was late.

Meeting up with my ex-neighbour was done in a ramen store and it was at Holland Village. Nice ramen but the atmosphere was more of 'if you wanna stay, you gotta order more'. Perhaps, it was dinner time and the manager was definitely pushing for sales. The dinner ended pretty fast and we parted coz I was an in-between program for his night activities.

Saturday : 17.10.09
Met my gf, EK for a soup spoon session for a chat. Well, made her travel to Tampines for nothing and ended not going for the designated activity. Then she dropped a bomb mentioning that she didnt take money along with her. Hence, all activities would be paid by me solely. What a bummer. She's quite a calculative person and would not forget the amount the person owed her or vice versa.

Dont understand why people would take advantage of me especially those who are working. I dont even have enough money to survive. After dinner, we ended up at Coffee Bean simply because we were heading for Iluma. Of coz, the drinks were on me again. Getting a bit of such people.

Sunday : 18.10.09
Went for a talk and listened to somebody who spoke about dialogue. Not exactly keen to listen coz his wife didnt practise what they had mentioned.

That's my weekend and it's not very eventful.

The Secret

2009-10-17T00:31:00.001+08:00

Does this work?

Yet to read that book and hope that some of you out there could share with me.

Have a wonderful weekend, everybody!

Long Weekend

2009-10-16T01:49:00.003+08:00

Starting from Friday to Sunday, SL willnt be around. He's out of town visiting his relatives and his cousin is getting married. Decided not to follow SL so that I willnt burden him financially.

Well, it's gonna be a long weekend.

PS : Hope he'll get some goodies back and enjoy himself over there.

You jump, I jump? Right?

2009-10-15T10:46:00.005+08:00

Was watching this 1997 blockbuster by James Cameron just awhile.

Felt really sad and it's definitely not the 'romantic' storyline of Jack and Rose.

But those poor and innocent people who were of lower class (majority of the passengers) who didnt manage to get into lifeboats, the lifeboats were not filled to their optimal capacity , limited number of lifeboats and the panic of all the passengers are among other things. The musicians were still playing till very end when the ship sunk. People dying of hypothermia.

Really cant imagine what's it is like staring death at your face at that moment and it's a huge loss to many families. The grief that they had to face.

This is who I am

2009-10-15T02:02:00.006+08:00

Have always wanting to do this entry but unable to do so. Finally, this is it. Tina Turner, Orlando Bloom, Roberto Baggio are among us and THIS IS WHO I AM.

Gossips

2009-10-14T02:09:00.010+08:00

We are very human when it comes to gossip coz it's easier to pinpoint others than ourselves. The other thing is everybody wants to be recognise of their worth in a group especially in a forum.

Some will resort to flaming / gossiping about the other party for the sake of bringing down that particular person. By doing so, they think that they could shame the other party and this made them feel good / superior about themselves. In reality, they are just plainly ordinary. What better way to do such acts is through forums and gatherings to dish / share 'hot' gossips.

Recently, a little bird told me that there is a particular person who claimed that he / she has been stalked coz he / she has been found out. Apparently, this person also didnt know that some of the childish actions could lead to certain consequences. Perhaps, this particular person thought that he / she could go scot-free by hiding behind the computer and still could made such annoying comments. From my understanding, he / she is also trying to find out from the colleagues who is the person who let the cat out of the bag.

Well, the answer would not be revealed here but there is sufficient evidence against this particular individual. It's not an easy feat and all these could be done. None of these actions requires stalking at all in order to bring forward the truth.

Everybody is entitled to their own opinions / judgments and it's natural that the claimed 'victim' sobs out loud to his / her circle of frens who offer their listening ears. In turn, these followers spread to their own friends. Seriously, if his / her followers choose to believe the so-called truth and all I could say is go get a life instead of believing a one-sided story. Such shallow and pathetic low-life creatures and these people do know of this phrase 'birds of the same feather flock together.'

The saddest part is these followers get together just to gossip on the same topic each time they meet and this is their only bonding apart on certain interests.

At the end of day, the majority do enjoy indulging a certain degree of gossip or will either make irresponsible remarks as well as laugh about things that do not concern them.

But they will definitely end up defeating their reputations or good names if theirs are at stake for sure. They will round up their frens to stand on their side and the whole vicious cycle starts all over again.

I know you love me.
xoxo
Gossip Girl

PS : The person claimed that he / she has being stalked isnt much of a looker as for his / her followers are simply plain ordinary folks.

10.10.09 ~ more rants

2009-10-10T11:17:00.004+08:00

Besides people who wants freebies, I really duno how bad my luck was. Was supposed to meet SL for a 3D movie at 9pm. However, I was late and the reason will be explained later.

I left my house at 8.30pm and if the taxi driver could drive a little faster, I would be able to reach there on time or 5 mins late. Guess what? Fate could be such a cruel thing. What arrived was a Crowns taxi (yellow top and black body). Can you imagine the speed that that taxi driver was driving? A safe 50 km/h and that speed was applied to both expressway and normal road. The driver got the cheek to say that he was driving very fast already when the speed limit on the expressway is 80km/h. BTW, he was driving on the 1st lane and was hoarding the lane where all drivers were overtaking him. Goodness gracious!

By the time I reached the cinema, the show had started. Can you imagine how I feel? What a day! I know that everybody needs to earn a living even for mature drivers. However, they may not realise that they could also pose a road hazard.

PS : For those who are driving Crowns taxis, these drivers are usually owners and are very mature. Yet driving at snail pace! Commuters beware! Usually these drivers are holding the steering wheel tightly and the driver's seat is usually shifted close to the steering wheel. The space between their stomachs and the wheel is minimal. Go figure in terms of safety issues in the view point of a commuter.

PPS : I had to chat with the driver so that I would not get angry.

Rants

2009-10-08T00:02:00.003+08:00

Was preparing a project of mine and decided to sell some of the periodicals. However, the responses were rather disappointing and the consumers were rather asking the impossible such as whether the mags could be given for free, meeting points were designated by them. Or pay postage for the mags to be mailed to them. Ridiculous!

I would like to tell these consumers that there is no free lunch in this world and everything has terms and conditions attached to it as well as opportunity costs. Get real!

The other was being spotted by my ex-classmate in a shopping centre. Not exactly keen to meet this person at all. Anyway, the usual cordial greetings applied and nothing further than that.

Mid Autumn Festival

2009-10-06T02:50:00.003+08:00

I've been a bit offbeat recently and losing a great deal of drive and concentration to blog.

Mid Autumn festival is otherwise known as mooncake or lantern festival. I had a wonderful and warm dinner with my extended family after I ran my errands in the afternoon. It's been awhile since I had been to such gathering since the passing of my maternal grandmother (the last surviving grandparent) since last November.

Had great fun with my cousins and went back to my uncle's place to continue the fun. I guess Grans was the main reason of family gatherings. There's a missing element and I cant find the right words to describe that feeling.

On Sunday, met up with CL and SL for dinner as well as tea and hadnt been meeting her for the longest time coz our schedule are clashing. It was a good meet-up and had passed her a couple of Chic magazines as well as her birthday pressie.

Last weekend was centered around family and frens and the gatherings were rather fulfilling. Looking forward to more of such heartwarming moments.

Pre Mid-Autumn Festival

2009-10-02T01:50:00.005+08:00

Was invited by my fren to join the Mid-Autumn festival held in my alma mater and it's been ages since we last visited the school. It was a nostalgic feeling in the air for both SL and me. On the other hand, our frens didnt join us in the end. If not, it would be a wonderful but warm night.
Well, the fun part was to see the 'friendship' dance that was done years ago still existed and it's part of the alma mater's culture. SL used to be a group leader and he was part of the choreography as well. We sang along with the students to revive the memories.

BTW, the song was from Dumb and Dumber soundtrack and was performed by Deadeye Dick. The title was New Age Girl and this was from the 90s.

Managed to find a dated video that reflected the crazy times in school and hope you guys will enjoy it. Probably, hope to join them again soon.

PS : Was never involved / joined in orientation but SL was totally involved in all these.

The Dragon Gate

2009-10-01T02:58:00.003+08:00

This is a story about the Dragon Gate.

This is the Dragon Gate. Many carps gather and try to climb the waterfall with small jumps. Because if they made it through the Dragon Gate at the top, they would turn into dragons!

Not one crap had made it yet but one of the craps refused to give up. He did not seem to be getting any further. But still he did not give up. But slowly, he got higher and higher. Until one day he leapt through the gate and transformed!

You must never give up against what you are trying to achieve. Keep going no matter what stands your way.

PS : Everybody has down times and it's tough. Hence, would like to share this with everyone and not give up no matter what.

Late Dinner / Supper

2009-09-30T03:07:00.003+08:00

Cant sleep now coz I had a very heavy dinner / supper with my group of frens at Bukit Timah. Still, my mind is simply working on another project. I really need to get my mind to work again.

Inglourious Basterds

2009-09-27T02:37:00.004+08:00

Had watched it two weekends ago and liked the idea of re-writing history. However, it's far from reality. The last part which was chapter 5 : revenge of the giant face where the burning of the panicked crowd reminded me of the killings of the Jews as well as the assassination of Hitler ("der Fuhrer"). Cant recall the number of times when people tried to kill him? I thought the number of times would be 42 approx and even people who were under him conspire to do so.

On the lighter note, I thought Christoph Waltz ("The Jew Hunter") gave a brilliant performance in this movie coz he depicted the darkness of a human displayed during such circumstances. In reality, he could speak various languages such as English, French and Italian besides German. Liked the accent as well as the wheeling and dealing done by Brad Pitt's character. Thought the idea of casting the characters based on their native language was a smart move so that this gave the movie's authenticity in terms of the fluency of language.

Overall, I do like this show. However, there were some scenes that were gory. Hence, it's not exactly for the faint hearted.

PS : Waited for a long time for a show done by Quentin Tarantino. It's worth the wait.

"Baby Can I Hold You" and let's hop on to a "Fast Car" to start "Talkin' 'bout a Revolution".

2009-09-26T13:03:00.009+08:00

She's none other than Tracy Chapman who is one of my fav. Totally love her music. Yes, it's a she (you are not hearing it wrong) and she's talented. Here are my fav songs from her such as Fast Car, Talkin bout a Revolution and Baby Can I Hold You. BTW,this song was covered by many artistes such as Neil Diamonds and Boyzone. Hope you enjoy the videos.

PS : My brains are protesting to write so I'm using music therapy to soothe the savage beast.

Fast Car

Talkin bout a Revolution

Baby Can I Hold You

I need a train (pun intended)

2009-09-25T14:01:00.004+08:00

Havent been blogging for while. Need to get back on my train of thought coz havent been doing anything serious. Basically, I'm fine but trying hard to remain sane. Unsure what's the end result of a lab rat trapped within four walls for a very long time. Will keep you guys updated. Meanwhile, have a wonderful weekend!

many happenings

2009-09-19T04:13:00.005+08:00

Many things had happened during this period of time. I'm still trying to figure out some issues. Sometimes, people mistaken silence as no action taken. Dont be mistaken coz a storm is brewing underneath the sea of calmness. But I will bear in mind that the support from everybody has been amazing. Cant do it without your guys and will always remember that all great people will have their moments of prosecutions.

Some people have to bear in mind that they have to be accountable and responsible for their actions. Writing on new media is not a right but a privilege and there are plenty of people who have been abusing such privileges. By writing behind the computer, it doesnt mean that the law willnt be able to catch up on you. There's another law that even more powerful than the legal version and it's the law of cause and effect. What brings joy to those who enjoy putting people down will also deserve a 'good turn' eventually.

This is Karma or retribution in laymen terms. Good luck!

Perhaps, many of us dont realise that we are all living at the expense of somebody else's grace and magnanimous. Of course, the other ignorant party continues to put this person down coz it's due to some inconveniences are created.

Death

2009-09-17T01:09:00.005+08:00

Climate changes, many countries are coping with the division of gaps between the rich and poor widen and some other pressing issues happening round the world. Some countries have to deal with both their poverty and famine issues and these countries are normally developing countries. It's sad to see people starving in the developing countries while one could see obesity in developed countries. It's kinda ironic and a huge contrast.

Watched a flick from youtube and tears rolled from my eyes to see 2 children were moving their bodies (not their feets) in circles. They were laying on their stomachs coz they had polio and couldnt stand upright due to malnutrition. They had no income for food and were abandon by their parents. They had an elder sister who was only 8 to perform parental duties. She had to walk miles everyday to fetch water to bathe her younger siblings. If there's food, she will offer it to her younger siblings first. It's sad to see others suffer. Sometimes, I really wonder what is that flow of money and why this doesnt reach the grassroots despite of the campaigns of a certain cause are happening round the world. It's simply maddening.

Another thought came after I went to a funeral wake for a couple of days. The decreased was relatively older than by two decades. She lost her battle through lung cancer. It makes me realised the fragility of life and everything that we have at this moment is transient . The only thing that is constant is change. Yet people doesnt not realise that our lives in this lifetime is very short coz we always have imagined that we will be immortal and invincible. But nobody knows what will happen in the future. Let alone our very next moment.

Right now, what I can do is treasure and appreciate what I have. At the same time, do my small part to make my existence in this lifetime useful.

New Media

2009-09-15T03:18:00.012+08:00

With the advancement of technology, it has brought a new ball game. Anybody can be a instant photographer/ journalist etc.

The cyberworld has turned into malice where people can made themselves anonymous to cyberattack without sparing thoughts of the future consequences. These people think that they are very smart by hiding behind their computers to do so. The thing is that when they think they are smart that they will get into trouble and dont realised that every action has its consequences.

There are many articles on the crackdown of such malice and one of the famous cases is a South Korean actress's suicide among many others. Even the government in Seoul passed a law to curb such behaviour.

People in general have an element of the green eyed monster in them and you can see it more when some people have certain items that others dont. If this is reversed, would these people care? Of course, not. They have devised ways to try to bring that person down so that they could feel better about themselves. Hence, they keep feeding this monster in them and it's a drug addiction. Most of the time, they think that they have done justice / favor for the rest of the society.

On the other hand, there's no point to get angry with them or even retaliate. Coz by doing so, one is falling into that trap that they had laid and the cycle will continue. Pity them instead coz they are wasting time and energy to bring down another human being simply because of their pathetic and miserable existences. Plus, if these people share their sob stories to their willing listeners, then I think they are really indeed low life creatures if they cant get the facts right.

"Faith and effort are the essentials and everything else is unnecessary."

2009-09-15T00:41:00.009+08:00

Was happy to pick up some stuff till some unpleasant trivial issues happened. Being unhappy will serve no purpose. Wasting my time and effort over such matters will not help, so I'm not going waste my time anymore. It's not worth it coz there are other things in life requires my attention. Seriously, I need to make a break from this lifestyle as my finances cant sustain these anymore.

Had a good chat with my gf and I guessed this served as a 'wake-up' call that was meant for me (thanks to the kind-hearted soul on the net). My gf was describing about the situation of her domestic help's finance. Really need to wake up from my current lifestyle and do something about my life.

Yes, I need to jia you and build a solid foundation for the future. Stop wasting my life away coz time and tide wait for no man.

"Faith and effort are the essentials and everything else is unnecessary."

Nifty Footwork

2009-09-09T15:03:00.005+08:00

This ‘Sorry Sorry’ video is performed by Super Junior and thought the footwork is good as well as interesting. I do think there are instances where imitation is the ultimate flattery and saw a group of students use the exact same choreography for their Teachers’ Day performance.

Capturing innocence

2009-09-09T14:29:00.007+08:00

Rainbow Connection - Kermit the Frog
Why are there so many
Songs about rainbows
And what's on the other side
Rainbow's are visions
They're only illusions
And rainbows have nothing to hide
So we've been told and some chose to
Believe it
But I know they're wrong wait and see

Someday we'll find it
The Rainbow Connection
The lovers, the dreamers and me

Who said that every wish
Would be heard and answered
When wished on the morning star
Somebody thought of that
And someone believed it
And look what it's done so far
What's so amazing
That keeps us star gazing
What so we think we might see

Someday we'll find it
That Rainbow Connection
The lovers the dreamers and me

Have you been half asleep
And have you heard voices
I've heard them calling my name
Are these the sweet sounds that called
The young sailors
I think they're one and the same
I've heard it too many times to ignore it
There's something that I'm supposed to be

Someday we'll find it
The Rainbow Connection
The lovers, the dreamers and me

Venus As A Boy

2009-09-09T13:58:00.003+08:00

Money & Character

2009-09-09T01:25:00.007+08:00

To me, I think to see a person reveals his / her character is to give that person either money or power.

Met up with one of my frens, KK for a belated dinner and chatted about happenings in our lives for the previous months. Went to an eating joint at my ex-workplace as they offer the one of the best popiah in town.

Later, we adjourned to a drinking place. After we ended, we parted ways and decided to walk from Bugis to PS just to take a bus home. I find walking is therapeutic and need this for exercise. Really dont know how long is my drought. However, I'm going pray till it happens.

(Sidetrack : He claimed that he had SGD 10 with him and would draw later. Then I told him that I would pay first. However, I was a bit pissed coz I picked up his tab coz he didnt have the intention to go to an ATM to draw. Come on, it was a mere SGD 11 but it was a huge amount if you are freaking broke. I was thinking whether he was trying to make me pay coz that 'little girl' didnt pay him back. True, it was a belated birthday gathering but well, it didnt mean that I wanna spend that amount on his pressie. The best part was he had some money left and ended in a game arcade playing games. I was thinking whether he really thought that I was giving him a treat. BTW, he's working and I'm surviving on my savings. Perhaps, the incident will make me retink about hanging out with him. )

Present

2009-09-08T02:09:00.007+08:00

After writing an entry on The Time Traveler's Wife, I have inspirations to write more about time. Had this card hidden in my cabinets and thought it was meaningful. Would like to share this.

Here it goes and hope you like it.

To realise the value of ONE YEAR, ask a student who failed a grade 49/100.
To realise the value of ONE MONTH, ask a mother who gave birth to a premature baby.
To realise the value of ONE WEEK, ask the editor of a weekly newspaper.
To realise the value of ONE HOUR, ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.
To realise the value of ONE MINUTE, ask the person who missed the train.
To realise the value of ONE SECOND, ask the person who just avoided an accident.
To realise the value of ONE MILLISECOND, ask the person who won a silver medal in the Olympics.
To realise the value of a LIFETIME, ask the person who has contracted AIDS.

Treasure every moment you have ! And treasure it more because you share it with someone special; special enough to spend your time with. And remember time waits for no one.

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it's called the present! A present of Time.

"It's hard being left behind. I wait for Henry, not knowing where he is, wondering if he's okay. It's hard to be the one who stays."

2009-09-06T14:42:00.008+08:00

Watched TTW last night with SL and I've cheated by watching instead of finishing the book which was bought by SL. Was somehow drawn into the idea of time travel though I cant change anything but I'm able to visit my past to tell 'the person" that everything will be fine when looking into the future. However, there are so many drawbacks. Perhaps, my loved one is too tired of waiting just like the female character and simply give up on me if the love is not strong. I maynt remember my 'current' situation as I've already gone through the ordeal when I've revisited it at an older age. Another drawback that I could think of is being naked resorting to steal clothes or even die during awkward situations which is quite sad. Perhaps, the other party has to wait for you to appear all the time and it's difficult to move on with life not knowing when the time-traveler would appear. Overall, it shows that love transcends time and conquers all.

Extracted from both the book and The Odyssey by Homer

Now from his breast into his eyes the ache

of longing mounted,and he wept at last,

his dear wife, clear and faithful, in his arms,

longed for as the sunwarmed earth is linged for by a swimmer

spent in rough water where his ship went down

under Poseidon's blows, gale winds and tons of sea.

Few men can keep alive through a big surf

to crawl, clotted with brine,on kindly beaches

in joy, in joy, knowing the abyss behind:

and so she too rejoiced, her gaze upon her husband,

her white arms around him pressed as though forever.

"It's hard being left behind. I wait for Henry, not knowing where he is, wondering if he's okay. It's hard to be the one who stays." ~ Clare

He is coming, and I am here.

Afghan Girl ~ Steve McCurry

2009-09-04T03:30:00.008+08:00

Picture from National Geographic

This is the image that captured many people inclusive of me in 1985 and didnt know who was the photographer. Decided to do a google search about the Afghan Girl and this is the article from National Geographic. Managed to find out more about the photographer. He is none other than Steve McCurry.

Was reading Steve McCurry's blog . Iwas fascinated about his wealth of life experiences being a photographer and going to many different places that experienced turmoil as well as chaos in terms of internal conflict. When I see the subjects of his pictures, these people are struggling in their lives and day to day survival just like the Afghan Girl that he photographed years ago. It makes me feeling damn shallow and ashamed of myself. And here I am at the comforts of my home updating my blogs as well as complaining about my empty life. This makes me realised that I'm indeed very fortunate to be born in Singapore and surrounded by loved ones. Though I may be down and out, I dont have to worry about my daily survival coz food is readily available.

Right now, I should get my butt up do something about my life and stop complaining! At the same time, I need to summon my courage to face the realities of my life at this moment and stop dreaming.

Shakespeare

2009-09-02T17:11:00.000+08:00

All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages.

needtobenormalagain

2009-09-02T13:27:00.004+08:00

The weather in SG is crazy. Sunny in the morning and raining in the afternoon or night. This is unpredictable and need to carry a brolly if I need to get out. What comes back is my bad sleeping habits. Now, my brains are so awake till 5 in the morning and is dead till 12. Good thing is I've 7 hours of sleep. However, there are so many bad things such as my body is working very hard during the hours of rejuvenating and mo body clock is completely switched. I really need to get back to normality fast.

With hopes

2009-09-01T23:38:00.003+08:00

The real fact is that I'm current down and out and yet I dont think my savings can sustain till the year end. The irony is there is no news of those employers and this is driving me nuts.

At the end, I really hope this will be over soon and I'm able to score something.

Final Quarter

2009-09-01T23:02:00.004+08:00

This is the first day of the final quarter. Still, there's no news about my applications. These made me very uneasy, upset, demotivated and other 'down' feelings. Still, I need to keep myside upbeat, motivated with determination. Tough, still I must survive.

Was paying my bills yesterday and met up my fren (who quitted his job from one of the big 4 to go for a tour). We chatted for awhile and he was asking me whether did I suffer any depression. Surprisingly, I dont think that I suffer from depression despite of being more home bound now coz there are so many things to be done such as doing my blogs, reading, hanging out with friends, etc. As for him, I'm unsure of his life except the fact that he loves orchids. Hence, I told him to do a blog in English.

Didnt chat much coz we were needed to leave for different destinations. I think he has been isolated from everybody for a very long time. Sincerely wish him all the best to his future endeavors.

As for me, I really need to pull up my socks and send more resumes. Wish me luck!

LOTUS SUTRA OF THE WONDERFUL LAW

2009-09-01T19:27:00.000+08:00

Blogging

2009-08-31T21:38:00.004+08:00

I started blogging back recently just to share my thoughts on my point of view with the rest of world. Why blogspot? Coz it's easy and I'm a IT-idiot (still am). When I wrote my first few entries, I would constantly refresh to check whenever there's anybody out there who is remotely keen in my point of view or leave their comments. Each comment gives me a warm and encouraging feeling to continue to write and it still does.

I'm still trying to write in my own point of view and trying not to make blogging a chore. My path in the 'real world' isnt very smooth this year and still trying to actively look for my mission. It's hard for me and I feel like it's a setback for me. I'm trying not to lose hope and trying to write as much as possible.

With my computer had crashed and my savings are drained, I managed to use my dad's and SL's laptops. But these laptops dont have bluetooth in them. Hence, I may experience difficulties in uploading pictures and soon the entries will get too wordy for comfort. I hope I dont stop here (hope not) and will continue on.

I would like to thank all the readers. It's your comments and continued presence that have accompanied my journey through all these entries.Once again, a big thank you to everybody.

PS : My blog is becoming more wordy. Hope you do like this change :).

The Ugly Truths About Men

2009-08-31T02:38:00.007+08:00

Picture by Mundane Daily Musings

Here are the ugly truths about men (quotes from the movie) :-

Stop trying to win a man's heart. Aim lower.

Men are visual creatures.

If you want a relationship, here is how you get one : It's called a Stairmaster.

Laugh at whatever a man says.

No man says "I love you" without expecting something in return. And by something, it's not a home-cooked meal.

Women, you have to be two people in order to lure your man : The saint and the sinner, the librarian and the stripper.

Ok, I dont wanna sound or have an intellectual type of debate coz this has been an age-old kinda questions. So, I'm not going touch too much about these.

When I was reading this, my reaction was laughing coz it's true to a certain extent.

Men are always a visual creatures constantly looking out for beautiful things even if they are with their girlfriends / wives. (Ladies : if you cant beat them, join them in their commentary) The other alternative is to keep in shape (for this point, I'm trying very hard).

Perhaps SL is in reservist this period, the time that we spent was relatively shorter as compared to previous few weeks. What I could remember these recent weekends was the laughter and jokes that we had shared. One of the jokes that we shared was the different ways to 'smuggle' a mobile camera phone into the military camp. After all the suggestions made, we ended laughter. Hence, laughter is the best medicine / remedy coz everybody wanna be happy in the end.

The last 2 points are very interesting and do involved a certain degree of intimacy. Perhaps, only you will know it yourself. Think ladies dress in nurses' uniforms, whip, porn, etc. I think you are geting the point.

Of course, read it with a pinch of salt and waiting to catch this movie to have a hearty laugh!

Determination?

2009-08-29T01:38:00.003+08:00

Where's determination? Dunno how long I can sustain...sigh! I've to use other's laptops like my dad's and bro's. They have been very understanding after my laptop crashed. Feeling frustrated.

Pray till it happens...

2009-08-27T01:03:00.008+08:00

I'm not going to let what's happening affect me ~ sounds bold. Not necessary. Had just received my rejection email from my ex-company and had guessed the whole company dynamics had changed after I left.

Dont wanna bow down by all these defeats and be upbeat!

Weeping softly in my heart

2009-08-26T16:49:00.006+08:00

Picture from FreeFoto.com

My current financial situation is unhealthy and I cant tell people this. Not because of 'face' but I dont think they can do anything. I'm fighting back my tears coz crying doesnt help though my heart is secretly weeping in the nights.

Right now, I've to keep telling myself that I'm the only person who can help me by trying to send out as many resumes as possible. For these 8 months, there is no inflow but outflows are huge amounts and these are definitely caused a drain in my savings. Plus, there were insane gratification moments of splurging. Who is there to be blamed but me myself!

I really wonder whether a degree is really that important after all the disappointments. It brings nothing. After spending a substantial insane amount for my education, I dont see the reaps of what I sow. Very disappointed! After going through 3 years of studies, I really couldnt see the light of the tunnel.

There are some recruiters who were unprofessional and insensitive with their remarks and had to bear with it. These recruiters mentioned that the testimonial that was written by my ex-boss was 'beefed-up' and I thought I was uncalled for coz it was very unprofessional at their end.

At this point of my life, I'm not gonna give up and will continue to send my resumes as well as continue on with my faith. Would like to thank countless of people who have encouraged me in one way or another.

I must remember this phase " The darker the night, the nearer the dawn" coz the bitterness of the night will turn to the warmness of the dawn.

PS : I've also learnt to live less and recycle stuff that didnt see the daylight for awhile.

Useless?

2009-08-25T12:56:00.004+08:00

Had been trying my best to be hopeful but it does leave a hint of disappointment after a serials of rejections and no responses. What is sad is when your family members dont understand and treat you as if you are an useless bum. It feels as if you wanna end up that way and that doesnt include the mountain of bills that you have to pay each month.

Well, everything happens for a reason and I need to open my mind as well as eyes to understand it.

I really need to use my religion to guide my path and to pursue my passion as well as interests. I also understand that there are many people out there who work for the sake of money and survival. However, having the passion to do your job will definitely last you longer than those who simply work for the moolah.

For those who found their jobs and work for the moolah, do continue to pursue your dreams and dont stop dreaming big coz dreams do come true. Many a times, we dream but dont dream big. We turn away from the opportunity to do this.

As for me, I'm still searching for that job ~ doesnt mean that the road is smooth coz every famous / successful person does encounter difficulties that doubt their abilities and it's their courage, determination and perseverance that push them through.

Jia you! I know I can do it!

PS : I'm not a Christian but do believe that having a religion in times of difficulties helps a great deal. BTW, I'm a Buddhist.

Retirement

2009-08-25T02:12:00.002+08:00

It was my stupidity to be blamed for switching off my laptop and this led to the corruption of the hard disk. The sad part was I needed to spend more moolah. On the other hand, it's time for my comp to retire as it had been mistreated for 3 years(I think). Sigh! Moolah got wings again....frustrated! Simply dont understand why one tend to spend more moolah when one encounters a down period of life.

210809 ~ Gathering of sorts

2009-08-24T02:04:00.002+08:00

It's been awhile since I met this group of frens or rather comrades. Gotta know them through NDP 08. Actually, I wanna met up with my ex-neighbour but decided not to meet after some issues. It was also during this period, the host of this meet-up invited me to join them to celebrate somebody's 21st birthday.

At first, I was rather reluctant and she convinced me to go. I was late as usual and the venue was Mind Cafe at Prinsep Road. However, the game played when I arrived was rather boring and the only person that knew how to play was the birthday girl. Unfortunately, the birthday girl simply ignored the rest of our unwillingness to continue that game of hers for at least 1 hr. Hence, I suggested to play other games that enable the rest of us to play. In the end, we ended up playing Risk. BTW, there were 5 princesses (inclusive of the birthday girl) and 1 prince.

The staff didnt inform us that the extension of time. In the end, we had to fork out extra moolah and that included the treat to the birthday girl. However, the birthday girl walked off after the gathering without even bothered to thank everybody. How rude!

Managed to read an entry from her blog and it stated that she was sad coz nobody celebrated her birthday on the exact day. After reading her blog, I felt that there was not a hint of gratitude or thanks to those who had celebrated for her. It was more of we had to celebrate her birthday coz she thought she was important in our lives.Totally wrong and disgusting!

Honestly, I didnt have the intention to go home early as I reached the venue at 9pm and didnt disclose my plans after the gathering for the fear that the birthday girl would stick around. I was planning to walk around to another bus-stop to take a bus. In the end, C and I had our dialogue at McDonalds and this was the saving grace of the whole outing.

At my end, I thought we had a wonderful time in discussing many aspects of life, religions, etc. We ended the dialogue at 2am and decided to leave from there.

Frankly, I thought the whole gathering left a horrible aftertaste and wouldnt wanna meet up with her anymore. IMHO, I went to the gathering was for the company of the host and her friends. Perhaps, the birthday girl should wake up from her dream and stop being so self-centred.

Sail through the sea of sufferings

2009-08-19T00:01:00.007+08:00

There are many obstacles and challenges in life. One's need the encouragement, understanding and support of loved ones to help to ease the pain. Currently, I'm also going through such pain and having a religion would also help lotsa. This can help me to be on the right track. Too many things are happening during this period. I need to have determination and courage to continue to fight on as well as not giving up. If I given up hope on myself, then nobody is gonna help me.

Perhaps, I'll use my blog as a form of chronicles to encourage others. Though I'm human and will also have weaknesses, I will continue to push myself to be a better person each day as well as encourage myself to strive harder.

PS : Jia you!

Terribly misunderstood

2009-08-13T00:17:00.011+08:00

Finally, the project that I've embarked in had ended. Hooray!

However, there was bad blood smeared throughout these few days.

When I received the call about this project, the coordinator (C) actually woke me up from my beauty sleep. However, I still let that person to keep me informed though it was early when the call was taken place.

These few days, I felt that I'm always in that misunderstood position. However, some of the incidents portrayed were very inaccurate and willnt put myself in good light.

Of course, there were many experts who were involved and had learnt a lot from them. However, the duration spent with these experts were fairly and it was a self discovery journey.

However, the person (who approached me for the project) wanna go into the direction suggested by a professional due to the current economic climate. The whole scenario was greatly exaggerated for the entertainment value.

Simply kept insisting that the show would be me going back to my old job scope and that's coordination. That's the career path that I felt that there was no future. Even though the task is important for the organisation but it was often neglected coz everybody wanna make sure everything runs smoothly.

Apparently, (H) didnt brief the other person (L) about my situation on the first day of the project. Hence, L automatically assumed that I was not humble enough.

From my understanding, H had told everybody that I was a difficult person to work with and it was not entirely true. The whole project was constantly surrounding the topic of me being very difficult to work with coz of the direction H was taking. It was untrue. Perhaps, there was certain unpleasantness and this lead to L to perceive that I was an arrogant based on the conversations that was gathered. L even commented on me that I hadnt done any humbling incidents such as doing menial tasks like courier, coffee server, etc. In actual fact, I did all this and this led to frustrations coz it was inaccurately portrayed.

The other thing that I thought H was not being professional as H had spoke to another colleague in a different language thinking that I wouldnt understand. Yes, I did knew that H was badmouthing about me.

Would like to share with H this. "If you wanna judge me, please check on yourself coz there is a famous saying 'Pot calling kettle black' ".

This week was a bad week for me coz I was challenged physically as was suffering cramps. Still, I was expected to perform and was scolded by H despite of letting the person know in advance. Basically, I had given a week's notice that I was not feeling well as a form of basic courtesy. Whatever I told the coordinator, those words fell into deaf ears. Was scolded for not looking interested. However, I told H earlier in the morning that I was unwell. Down with cramps and wanna take MC.

I understand that there's tight deadline but one has to understand that the only thing that's constant is still change.

On 13 Aug was the last day and H tried to mimic my accent. Thought it was very rude and I simply wanna get back my life soonest possible. The other incident was when I reached the office today, I was joking with a make-up artist (whom I met yesterday) about my make-up. However, there was a minder who quickly replied in an attacking mode "My face was not in their budget." Come on, I could do so on my own and told the minder off that it was a joke. Ridiculous!

The takeaway of this project is the lessons that I had with these experts. What I would like to share with the public is "Never believe what people or media say - entirely all 100% of it". Coz many a times, there's another side that we may not see or head. It doesnt mean that it's the truth coz there are certain elements that are used to generate and trigger reactions from the innocent audiences who dont know you at all.

In addition, I was not paid for my involvement so unsure why these people had to make you that you owe them a favor and may jeopardise my career.

101th post

2009-08-11T00:43:00.005+08:00

This is my 101th post and the tone will be slightly sombre.

First, I'm seriously going broke soon and there will be no cashflow for my bills next month. Oh dear! There's no news about my job hunting. Sad...but I still have to strive on...

Second, the deadly storms that had struck Taiwan and felt sad coz had went there last year. It was such a beautiful place and was so surreal when we reached there after watching so many Taiwanese drama serials and programmes. Was really sad...

So many people are suffering now due to the financial crisis. Thanks to the obscene money spent by those big shots, banks that lend money to people who cant repay the loans, etc... With disasters and retrenchments stuck, there will still be money flowing around. However, it will be even more difficult to get more money coz everybody's pockets are tight. IMHO, I do think that the rich are getting more stingy with their money coz they could get many freebies. Call me sour grapes but it's true. In the end, it's the middle-class who get squeezed.

On the lighter note, thank you for reading my blog as well as dishing out encouragements.

Love

Mundane Daily Musings

090809 ~ 8:22

2009-08-10T18:36:00.006+08:00

Yesterday was SG National Day. Well, didnt go anywhere at all coz everywhere would be crowded. Ok, it was partial truth. The other reason was I was busy helping my bro to amend his academic stuff since Saturday evening and was too tired to move my butt out of the house.

SL came over to give me a helping hand in this. He was donning a white and red t-shirt. How patriotic! He stayed on till the National Day parade was over.

Was wondering did anybody actually join in the pledge at 8:22? After all, it was a nation-wide / international campaign with the posters pasted in MRT stations, etc. Well, I could say that I did recited in my heart...tsk tsk...I would really like to go out at that moment to see whether anybody did stopped in their tracks and started reciting out of curiosity. Had read the papers and was reported that not many people joined in. Kinda sad...

For this year's show, there were 10 chapters of the show from the humble beginnings to the modernity of the country. One of the chapters entitled 'Little Red Dot' was performed by the Soka Women Division and really thought the dance movement and the costumes were very ladylike.

Overall, I really thought that this year was a theatrical treat coz the creative director was Ivan Heng who was very much involved in arts circle in SG. Now, the long weekend had ended and it was back to reality.

09.08.09 ~ SG's National Day

2009-08-07T01:06:00.005+08:00

Come Aug 9 is SG's National Day. Really missed those days spent on training. In fact, I was working full-time and study for my degree. Despite of this, I still managed to find time to be a participant of the parade. I've been a trainer as well as participant for several years and really enjoyed my time spent during trainings.

When I recalled, I really wondered how I managed to do so especially my last exam ended on the preview of the parade. Yup, it was a crazy schedule but had thoroughly enjoy myself through all the struggles, pains, etc.

Fast forward this year. My path hasnt been smooth since the beginning of the year and it's been a huge struggle. I've to muster up my courage to accept this harsh reality and pick myself up from the ruins. Just like the rising of a phoenix.

Right now, I really need to get back my life together.

PS : Will enjoy the long weekend ahead! Happy weekend, everyone!

2 different clocks

2009-08-06T17:04:00.003+08:00

Halo readers

Had saw a different clock from Anna Sui's website. Can anybody tell me which is a better looking clock for my blog?

Thanks

Mundane Daily Musings

PS : Can help me to choose the choice of clocks for my blog? Thanks!

Buddhist...

2009-08-05T21:44:00.006+08:00

The latest ad in my blog doesnt reflect my religion or beliefs accurately coz I'm a Buddhist and not from Scientology. Really unhappy about it coz it's not an accurate representation.

Yup, it's ranting again....that's all for now!

PS : Google Adsense, would appreciate it if you could remove the ads of Scientology! Thanks!

Challenge Yourselves with Courage and Confidence

2009-08-05T13:15:00.009+08:00

Happiness is not dependent on your circumstances; the important thing is to proudly live out your life to the fullest right where you are. There is no need to lament your fate, and absolutely no reason to envy others. Just continue to challenge yourselves with courage and confidence.

Daisaku Ikeda

PS : To Mr Sohail

Thank you for your email. Yes, I'm fine and need to be on the right track. BTW, you can leave your messages here as well.

Keep on writing?

2009-08-02T15:17:00.008+08:00

Keeping a blog is not easy and sometimes it can be tedious. Coz there's a enormous need to provide fresh and creative content to your readers not just any normal content.

I'm glad that I'm born during this period though sometimes I dont reckon so. Reason is I'm able to see changes in the mentality of people towards bloggers. There are so many types of contents available to choose and read from. These could range from personal rantings like mine to specific topics like finance etc.

That's not all. People are more receptive to bloggers and even sponsor them products endorsements. Sounds attractive...not necessary coz it's lotsa hard work and creativity involved to keep the blog alive so that it can entice the readers. Can you imagine there are thousands of new blogs entering this blog sphere everyday fighting to get readers attention?

The other thing bloggers have to keep in mind is sensitivity in the content. Perhaps, I'm stay in SG and everybody is 'tolerant' of each other. Hence, I've to be sensitive as well coz I'm pretty sure there is a slight hint of racial discrimination in everyone of us coz of our diverse backgrounds and unique cultures. The funniest thing is my parents want healthy babies. However, we get to know the cultural and racial difference when we grow up. We start to point out how a particular race look like, behave, etc. Dont you find it strange?

Recently, we had seen that bloggers had changed history such as the recent election in Malaysia. The power of bloggers is enormous and the age of thoughts and speech freedom is not too faraway (for some countries who still reply on traditional mediums). Some of the bloggers dont have the training of journalism and it's a power not to be ignored or denied. Some traditional mediums practitioners still dont recognise there's a new way of thoughts. In addition, there's twitter and it enables ordinary citizen to update daily activities whether it's just mundane or important. The world is becoming a global village as coined by Marshall McLuhan. But there's a need to use it cautiously as "with great power comes great responsibility."

As for me, I'm glad and happy that there are people out there who support me though it's slowly garnering readership. This is a form of encouragement to me as it will help me to continue writing. Even if there's only 1 reader, I'll still writing. Thanks for reading.

PS : Thank you to all of you for visiting and following my blog : )
PPS : Apologies for the lack of pictures

Total Bitch

2009-07-30T02:49:00.004+08:00

Felt like a total bitch after quarrelling about the time spent with SL's colleagues. Yup, I'm totally jealous about his relationships with his colleagues. However, he spent almost all his weekends with them.

Of course, expletives were coming out from my end and unsure whether it would get him into trouble. Felt bad...really bad...didnt feel good after the quarrel.

Perhaps, I feel like a loser who's trapped in my current situation and feel helpless.

Sometimes, I really wonder how much more nonsense he could take coz there are times when I want to distance myself away from him. He's a super nice guy and is 'bullied' by me. I do wonder what does he see in me especially this trying period when I'm constantly in doubt about myself, my abilities, etc.

I'm a fallen angel who fell from the heaven that my wings were broken when I landed on the ground. And I'm now a mortal. I can taste blood, pains, sorrows, etc.

To SL

I'm sorry and there's not enough of apologies to get around with the troubles and problems that I've put you through.

Week of meet-ups

2009-07-29T14:08:00.007+08:00

Met up with one of my gf, EK for dinner last night. Dinner was done at Hillary Inn at Vivocity. Food was not really ok coz the soup was salty, portions of food were relatively small. Not fantastic and we didnt receive the complimentary aura reading. Ok, the overall ambiance and experience was not that great and wouldnt recommend this to anybody.

The whole conversation done at that place was good coz she was 'enlightened' already. Had advised her a couple of months of not delaying her happiness especially when she wasnt keen about that person. It's a great piece of news for both of us. Hooray.

More meet-up continued today and this evening was with RA. It's been awhile since we met after graduation (I think). It's always great to meet up with her coz she's so wise beyond her years. Had Japanese food at Far East Plaza with her and it turned out to be her treat. Felt bad...very bad...would treat her the next time around.

After dinner, we went about the entire building and I wanna get a bag. But there were ceases and the lines wouldnt be gone. Hence, didnt give.

Happy about the people that I had met this week and felt good.

Letting it go and my heart to heal

2009-07-29T14:00:00.004+08:00

My life has been on a roller coast ride for the past half a year. One sure outcome from this period is I willnt want to work with a fren ever again. Was working in this place which triggered shivers in everybody each time the bosses come into the office and the turnover rate is high in that place. No kidding. Not exactly the best place to work.

Shouldnt carry this baggage and it's time to let my heart heal. However, I'm pretty sure that I couldnt trust my fren anymore and it resulted a discord in our relationships.

Not a good day

2009-07-28T03:09:00.005+08:00

Went out to meet SL but was encountered by people who seemed to be swinging or leaning their heads towards me. It seemed like I'm a magnet for such things and it seemed like guys would do this. What I would do is to elbow the guys who did the above to make sure that they knew that they had went beyond their boundaries.

I'm tired, too and would like to have a pleasant ride while commuting in a train. But if you decide to fall asleep in the train, try not to be a nuisance to the other commuters.

While I was on my way back, there were 2 ladies who were so engrossed in their conversations that their hand gestures kept hitting me without apologising. It seemed that that particular group of people are well known to be obnoxious and demanding. So frustrating.

Another incident that happened on another day was when I witnessed an auntie who tried to grab a seat in a packed train regardless the distance from her or the cramped area around her. Saw her almost fell from grabbing a seat beside mine and accidentally stepped on the foot of a group of school girls standing in front of me. When I left for my stop, I saw her rushing to my seat even though she was at another corner.

Really wonder why some people behave like that.

Faith

2009-07-27T01:53:00.003+08:00

Having faith in religion is important especially during this trying period. However, I've encountered some people who are over zealous about their religions. Have frens from this particular religion but some of them went a bit too far.

However, I told them firmly that I'm a Buddhist and believed in cause and effect. Many people regard science is a young child as compared to one of the oldest religion in the world. These people will say that science is not the truth and there are times when I'm simply drag into the debate of which religion is the best. However, I believe there's a need to have actual proof to showcase the truth.

I respect the fact that you are of a different religion from mine and yet these people are trying to use their religious views onto me and also getting into religious arguments. Then they will say other things about being a Buddhist. It's not like I'm afraid but I'm not keen to get myself in such situation. I believe action speaks louder than words or I'm starting with the man in the mirror at least.

Seriously dont understand these people and their narrowness in terms of thoughts. Well, I do have to be a bit more patient with these group of people.

Depressed

2009-07-24T00:02:00.007+08:00

I feel that I've lost myself in the downwards spiral and the light seems so faraway. SL commented that I'm swallowing in self pity. At the same time, I dun seem to be happy about my life and how's it's heading.

I know that I've a treasure in my life and not even using it. I'm really need to use it.

Perhaps, I'm tired of trying out anything. I dunno what am I doing with my life...

The fact I'm not getting younger and if I enter a new industry, I've to start all over again and salary will be low. Am I asking too much? I begin to doubt about my ability and skills. Many of my frens do try to convince me what am I experiencing is temporary.

The experience also gives me the thought why there's a need to obtain a higher education especially what is happening to me now though many of them tell me that there's an advantage in obtaining one. But now, it's the employers' market now and they are capable of pushing the market value down.

I also know that I cant lead and live this type of life coz my savings are almost depleted.

Feel so useless...plus it doesnt help when you could see your frens are moving up in their career ladders. Travelling to different parts of the world.

As for me, dun tink I've done anything significant in my life now and not been travelling.

Right now, the only thing that can alleviate my pain is shopping but that's only temporary and terribly depressed.

Help!

22.07.09 : Total Eclipse of my heart?

2009-07-23T15:42:00.005+08:00

Eclipse what eclipse?

Woke up early yesterday but was greeted by the heavy downpour. Sigh! Had to tune in to Channel U to watch the solar eclipse.

Would like to 'romantictize' the idea of both Moon and Sun are lovers and eclipses give them the opportunities to meet up or they will continue to chase each other forever.

Yes, some silly ideas...well, it's just another alternative thought.

Involvement ~ Thanks to HY; Perhaps No Thanks now

2009-07-23T15:17:00.006+08:00

Currently, I'm involved in a project and thanks to HY for roping me into this. It's an eye-opening experience for me to face my flaws squarely.

I'm gratefully for the opportunities. However, I was a bit upset about the comments that made by a particular HR personnel. Well, I've to make a change in my mindset in order to succeed in life. I must continue to encourage myself to continue to move on with life.

To HY
I'm very grateful for your kind assistance and determination to make sure that I'm in the correct path. My sincere apologies for my not-so punctual and unwillingness to go to certain places.

Edit : I began to regret being in this project (14.08.09).

It's Rain

2009-07-21T10:05:00.004+08:00

Was watching a documentary about Rain, a Korean pop star and made me realised that one must be able to survive all the trials of life in order to succeed. I have to strive hard to realise my dream. The conclusion that I have is to big dreams, you also must have the strength to weather huge disappointments and struggles.

Are you able to take up the challenge?

Kill Joy

2009-07-17T01:49:00.008+08:00

Was meeting my friend, SRT, to pass her stuff. Of course, Baby S was with us. Met her for lunch at Thai Express as I wanna go to Nicholas sale at Marina Square. While we were on our way to shopping Baby S's pillow, T called. Sigh! What a kill joy! Meaning that our meeting had to cut short. We went to Nicholas but was disappointed as the prices were way above my budget. Though there was a pair of shoes that caught my eyes, the prices were out of my league.

Before she left, we went to kiddy palace and JL to get a bigger pillow and pillow case respectively.

After she left, I went shopping alone. Yes, the impulsive shopper in me went crazy....

Through this incident, it made me wonder that women had to make the necessary sacrifice in order to maintain the peace and harmony in family.

Sorry, about not in the rite mind to blog....writer's block....

Am I consuming excessively?

2009-07-17T00:58:00.006+08:00

Was watching documentary about rural villagers. They dun enough have the money to satisfy their needs such as clothes. What they were wearing were old and dirty clothes. The new clothes that they had received were donated clothings. It made me wondered am I consuming excessively especially when there are so many clothes in my wardrobe.

In addition, these kids were deprived of education. When the volunteers came to teach, they were all so eager to learn. It made me wondered whether I've the courage to let go of everything I have have to lead this type of life. What would happen to me? Will I go crazy?

Still pondering... watching this made me reflected on there's no need to sweat about tiny things in life coz there are many people out there who are more needy than me....

Need to re-think what do I really wanna to achieve in this lifetime....

Too much work

2009-07-16T00:54:00.004+08:00

Was talking to my gf, SRT and one of the topics was "there's no ugly but lazy women." To certain extent, this is true coz males are visual creatures and women need to take care of themselves to 'keep them interested'.

We chatted about one of our ex-mates who was facing marital problems when her male counterpart thought that he had some 'mojo' at his age and shape. In addition, our mate was plus sized. This kept me thinking that I couldnt let myself go even though if I'm attached or even married coz the males were hungry to look at young and nubile nymphs.

Was talking to SL awhile ago and he mentioned that there were many girls who were posing with his bro. The first thing that it came to mind was he was regretting the fact that he's been 'out of scene' for too long and envious of his bro's attractions to the opposite sex.

TO SL :
I KNOW THAT I'M NO LONGER ATTRACTIVE NOW! CANT FIT THOSE BEAUTIFUL CLOTHINGS ANYMORE. YES, I'M FAT IF YOU WANNA ME TO ADMIT ABOUT THIS. BUT LOOK AROUND THERE ARE SO MANY WOMEN WHO ARE FATTER THAN ME!ARE YOU HAPPY NOW SINCE I'M WRITING THIS OFFICIALLY? ARE YOU REGRETTING AFTER ALL THIS WHILE?

I really duno what to do now and trying to reduce weight as well as having regular meals. Sick and tired of the media bombarding the zero 0 models and models with boyish figure...argh!I'm trying hard to 'doll-up' myself when I'm going out. Women doll-up is to attract the opposite sex. However, I duno feel pretty anymore especially I detest the way I look in the mirror. Big is also not that beautiful even though media also try to glamorize plus sized.

I wanna be healthy.

Hating myself now!

Weird sleeping habits

2009-07-15T02:53:00.004+08:00

Was knocked out by 9pm and slept through to 1am. Right now, I'm nursing a headache while watching a drama entitled 'Pizza My Heart'. It's like Romeo and Juliet and it's boring but I simply cant sleep. Oh no, this is not good.

13.07.09 : Rude People and culture

2009-07-14T12:42:00.008+08:00

Went to Orchard to meet up with SRT and decided to have Soup Spoon for our soups. Babysit Baby S while SRT went to order. It was during this time there was a rude couple who sat and placed their food without even asking especially the lady. Perhaps, these people behave the same way in their country due to overpopulation and class society. The lady's fushsia DKNY bag was even occupying my seat while I was at the edge of the seat. Isnt it too much? I was not sitting there to occupy seats but was eating there with a fren with her baby. Couldnt comprehend why people behave this way and basic courtesy was thrown out of the window. So what if you are holding a high position in the organisation? Is it so difficult to open your mouth and ask?

There was another incident when I witnessed a male from the same region demanded service staff to check on some patrons who were not eating coz they were busy chatting and sipping their drinks. In actual fact, these patrons were waiting for their food. Soup Spoon is not the only eatery in Paragon and there are many others located at the same as well as other levels. It's not his right to ask other patrons to move simply because he wants to eat there. Wake up the idea.

Soup Spoon is a place that serves soups, sandwiches, salads, etc. It is a self-service place and if you have to find your own seat, just do it yourself. It's simply disgusting that to see people behave like that just because they think what works in their country will work in SG. Yucks!

PS : I'm not trying to be mean but there are different types of people who exist and the whole dining experience can be ruined by them.

Letdown, Failure, Loser

2009-07-12T04:37:00.008+08:00

I feel that I'm such a letdown and loser to myself and everybody who is deeply concerned about me as well as my well-being. Feel so lost and not motivated to improve my situation. I've sunken into a deep and dark pit-less hole of no return. Everything is in a mess... relationships are strained, saving depleting, just wanna escape from reality. I'm really lost this time and everybody is waiting for me to stand up on my feet.

I really dont know what's stopping me. Perhaps, I'm defeated by myself and too afraid to face the world of challenges again. I can really see my savings depleted everyday and yet I've not awaken from this reality. Perhaps, I simply dont wanna wake up from this dream, this comfort zone, this layer of fake protection against the truth. My life is falling apart and feel that I dont have any control.

In reality, I think I've stopped living as a human. Just like a walking zombie except that I'm wired to the net. There are times when I feel so comfortable at home that I dont wanna to leave my home to meet anybody at all. Not even going out to take some fresh air or exercise. Kinda shutting myself from the outer world. Basically, I'm letting myself go straight to destruction.

Now, My physical body is hallow just like an empty shell and my spirit as well as mind is gone on hiatus. I dont like living like in this manner but this is somehow my life now.

I really need to stand on my own feet to find my objectives, goals and directions in life again. Needing my compass in life so desperately.

PS : SL & everybody, I'm really sorry to have been a huge disappointment.