Broken

I felt so broken recently. My savings were drained and getting essentials now could pose a problem. I had accepted an temporary assignment that didnt pay much to my previous salary to carry on with life.

Honestly, I think that the agency and the company had cut my pay super low. I've just graduated with Hons but have several years of working experiences. Yet, they still pay a diploma holder's salary. The recruit agency guy tried to convince me that he would take up a $5/hr job if he quited his job. I thought it was a load of BS. I had discovered that the temps there were waiting to enter university. What a contrast.

Each time, I felt that I was undercut half of what I used to earn. The first time was due to my studies. Now, it was due to the economic crisis.

It was a bad timing to graduate and my contract from a previous company was not renew. My savings was used to sustain daily expenses. Though I was spending, the amount paled in terms of my spending. You may have stop spending but expenses are on the increasing rate.

During this period, SL has been very supportive in terms of emotionally and physically. I felt that the roles have reversed coz he's being more of an adult now as compared to the past. I am ashamed of my actions coz he's been on the receiving end of my assaults. Felt terrible coz I've turned into a hulk.

I really hated my life and job. The future seems bleak to me coz I'm not getting younger. It doesnt help when you are super broke and cant ask any allowance from your parents. They have assumed that your savings could last a lifetime mentality and I'm a lot older. Several money making ideas often making noises in my head that include the easiest and illegal way to obtaining easy cash.

I'm not trying to sound like a victim but really feel that I've broken down to pieces....again...