One of my darkest hours of my life :(

In life, we encounter many highs and lows. Similar a rollercoaster ride!

I am at one of my lowest point in my life.First, my confidence is lost. Then my esteem and spirit. My faith is the last thing to lose. It feels like I am in a deep, dark and never ending bottomless pit. My cycle of sleep has been disturbed and am totally alert during the wee hours of morning. In some days, I cry myself to sleep. Tired and lack of motivation are my frens. I am lost and leading to the road of self-destruction. Often, I become very quiet and withdrawal.

My access to the outside world was disconnected due to late settlement of my bills. It happened when I felt the urge to do something. Then I was lost in the black hole again and experiencing withdrawal symptoms especially almost everybody is connected via the net.

With this global economic crisis, it is opportunity for some. While others, it is retrenchment. As for me, I am part of the statistics. This has made my situation worse especially when you had sent out a couple of resumes and yet there is no response. It makes me feel that I was not good enough and have not live up the potential that I think I have.

The only thing that is constant and does not stop coming is bills even when you are down and out. These will continue to increase and I will find my savings depleted very soon. It is scary and frustrating for me. It definitely caused stress and anxiety unlike what people say things like "How could you be stressed when you are not working?" How not to feel stressed especially when your outflow of money is higher than your inflow?

Of course, every dark cloud has a silver lining. SL is very understanding and comforting during this period and I feel very bad coz he has been very nice.

The other incident is my bro agrees to let me use his Internet connection. Hooray!

However, I'm being realistic and not pessimistic as such happiness is often short lived coz the bills will still be coming in like tidal waves and my savings will be depleted fast.

Argh! I really need to get a job soon! Must pursue my life of happyiness!

Wish me luck!

PS : Have encountered this article.Hope this helps!